Your baby memory book is behind. You can still begin.

The baby memory book is on a shelf. Your baby is considerably larger than when you bought it. The book contains a name, a date and, if things went particularly well, a photograph.

You can still use it.

Starting a baby memory book late does not mean you have to reconstruct every month before you are allowed to keep today's story. A small collection of true memories is enough. Empty boxes are allowed to stay empty; they are stationery, not a verdict.

Start with the present

Write down three things about your child now. Something they like, something they do, and something about the life around them.

Add today's date. You have started. There is no preliminary exercise involving the entire camera roll.

This first page also gives you a way to continue while you catch up. Otherwise, collecting old memories can become such a large job that new ones join the backlog. It is like tidying a cupboard while somebody keeps quietly adding shoes.

Gather a few good clues

Choose one source to look through for twenty minutes, or a shorter time if that is what you have. A photo album, old messages, a calendar or a folder of paper can each give you a starting point.

Look for things that make you think, “Oh, I remember that.” You are collecting stories, not conducting an audit.

Useful clues might include:

• A photograph of the room they spent time in.
• A message about a funny new habit.
• A picture from a familiar walk.
• The first appearance of a much-loved toy.
• A birthday card with somebody's words inside.
• A little drawing or a note you tucked away.

Pick a handful. Save them together so you can write about them without repeatedly searching for the original.

Write what you know, and label what you don't

Some memories have dates attached. Others come with “sometime that summer”. Both can belong in the book.

Use phrases such as “around six months”, “I remember…” or “we think this was…” where appropriate. Do not invent a precise first-word date because the printed page has a space demanding one.

You can also write about a stage instead of an event: “During this stretch, you loved being carried round the kitchen.” That tells a reader something useful without claiming a first or a deadline.

If somebody else remembers a moment, ask for their words. Attribute the memory to them. A grandparent's account may be a lovely addition even when their version differs from yours.

Arrange it around stories rather than missing months

If a chronological book feels awkward, try a few headings of your own:

• Things that made you laugh.
• People in your world.
• Places we went often.
• Your little habits.
• The words we used.
• Ordinary days I want to remember.

You can put these on loose pages or in a digital folder. A book does not need to follow its original layout if that layout makes you want to put it back on the shelf.

For words worth saving, try funny things children say. For memories that do not need a milestone, our ordinary family moments are a useful starting point.

Finish a small version before planning a huge one

Give yourself a modest first collection: perhaps five pictures and five short notes. Read it through. Add names where future readers might need them, and make a separate copy of anything you do not want to lose.

You can add more later. You might decide the small version is the version you want.

Our family's missing notebook from Abby's birth is a reminder that having memories and being able to find them are different jobs. Put the new collection somewhere sensible, then enjoy the fact that a few of the stories are together.

Your child has not been waiting for a beautifully completed table of contents. Begin with a detail you still have.